


Blue as the Citrus Sea

by Snickerdoodle225



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Amnesia, Childhood Friends, Elain Archeron/Azriel Fluff, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, High Fae, Humans, Illyrians (ACoTaR), Love, Memories, Ocean, Oral Sex, Promises, Sea, Secrets, Sex, Transformation, Velaris, Wing Kink, beach, crash, forest, graysen only shows up for like a minute I promise, she's not in it but we talk about her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:49:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28607772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snickerdoodle225/pseuds/Snickerdoodle225
Summary: When Elain was a child, an Illyrian crash landed in her garden. Now, that Illyrian is the forbidden love she will never forget.Set in and around the night the Illyrians and Feyre show up at the manor Elain and Nesta live in below the wall.
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Azriel
Comments: 17
Kudos: 56





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I know some of these chapters are super short but since I'm going with a timeline, it makes sense this way.
> 
> During the Prologue, Elain is 22 years old. Her age will be posted at the beginning of each chapter to avoid confusion. We will make it back to the day in the prologue eventually.

It had been years since Elain had thought of that afternoon. Fourteen years exactly since it had happened, and now, standing in her entryway, was the subject that haunted her memories. Once a year she had seen him, once a year he had come and spent the afternoon with her. But several years ago, after a slew of promises, he disappeared. 

Feyre had come back after going over the wall to save her love, but not alone. One after another, three large males with obsidian bat-like wings entered their house. Nesta just saw them as fae, but Elain knew the proper term for the leather-armored faeries. 

Illyrians. 

Elain’s eyes trailed over the first two males who came in, but neither were the one she remembered. Blue eyes and red gems betrayed them as just another member of the warrior race. 

But the third male to walk in her door froze at the sight of her. Her gaze traveled to his hands, scarred hands topped with cobalt gems. 

That was what she was looking for. She lunged for one of his wonderful hands, turning it over in her palm. “Blue as the Citrus Sea I’ve never seen,” she muttered, more to herself than to him, but his sharp intake of breath at her words confirmed that he was the one. 

Confused silence filled the air, as nobody but the two of them knew about the visits. Guilt, shame, and sorrow shone the male’s eyes as he curled his hand around hers and pulled her close to him, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. 

“I’ve been looking all over for you, Elain.”


	2. Fourteen Years Ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here until we get back to the present, I'll post Elain's age here for clarification. Some chapters have it embedded, some don't. 
> 
> Elain is 8 years old

As the hot afternoon sun beat down on her small form, Elain Archeron stood up from her large garden and dusted off her dress. Her mother would kill her if she found dirt on Elain’s dress, but Elain loved the garden so much it was worth her mother’s rage. 

At the age of eight, Elain had already perfected her roses and tulips, but vegetable still eluded her. The onions she had tried to grow had rotted from the inside before they had even broken the surface, and her herb garden was constantly being eaten by insects. Elain huffed a small sigh and picked up her tools, hoping this year would be better. 

A shadow blocked the sun for a moment before a large shape crashed into her bed of orchids. Elain squeaked out a small noise of fear. What was that? Did a rock fall from the sky? Maybe it was an injured bird? Elain dropped her tools and raced over to where the object fell, but what she found wasn’t a bird.

It was a person. A person with wings. Terror shot through her mind as she approached the faerie. The man groaned in pain as he rolled over her entire orchid crop and attempted to stand. 

“What are you doing here?” Elain’s voice shook as she addressed him. She had never seen a faerie up close, but if all faeries looked like this, she understood why humans feared them. 

The fae looked up from his embarrassing position to see a small child staring at him. Her golden-brown hair was pulled back to the back of her head and her beautiful brown eyes almost looked too big for her face, but he had no doubt she would grow into them. 

“I was…looking for someone…” he said in a low voice, not sure if she was the only one who saw him fall. 

“Did you find them?” the girl asked. 

Before he could answer, shouting came from the direction of the large house. The human that had thrown the spear at him come to finish the job no doubt. The little girl heard it too, and he braced himself for her scream for help. 

To his eternal astonishment, she did no such thing. In fact, the little girl grabbed his hand and pulled him toward a shed at the back of the garden. “You can hide in here until dark. I’ll tell them you ran the other way,” she said hastily, slamming the door in his face. 

Alone in an unfamiliar shed, the fae took inventory of himself. He hit the ground pretty hard, but there didn’t seem to be any serious injuries. He was pretty sure he was bruised in a few places, but those would heal so fast he may never notice. 

Still afraid the little girl would turn him in, he leaned against the wall and listened. 

“Elain! Where are you?” Elain heard her mother’s voice from the house, others behind her. 

“I’m here, Mama!” she yelled back, racing up the path to meet them. Her mother scooped her up as she met her and the men that were following raced into their garden. “Are you alright?”

“Mama, there was a bird!” Elain said excitedly from her mother’s arms. “It fell into the orchids and then flew into the neighbor’s yard! It was HUGE! I’ve never seen a bird so big!”

Elain made sure she said it loud enough that the men from town would hear her. They looked at each other and raced off toward the direction she pointed, skirting the woods that backed up to their house. 

The fae laughed quietly to himself in the shed. A bird, indeed. The little girl was full of surprises, but she was right about one thing: he would have to wait for dark to try and leave. He looked around the shed for some cover. 

He curled up in a corner, covered himself in burlap, and waited. 

The door of the shed opened just before sunset, and the fae pointed his knife at the intruder. Or where he thought the neck of the intruder would be, since instead he found nothing but air at the end of his knife and the small girl below him, backing into the shed with a tray. 

“I thought you might be hungry,” Elain said sweetly. “My parents are throwing a party in the dining room again, so this won’t be noticed. I figured having dinner with you would be more interesting.”

He was stunned. He hadn’t expected her to come back, let alone bring him food. “You’re not afraid of me?”

Elain looked up at him with innocent eyes. “Should I be?” she asked. 

“Aren’t all humans afraid of us?” 

Elain shook her head, “Mama says yes, but I don’t think so. Sure, I think you could be scary if you tried, like with that knife. But Mama says I’m good at reading people. She says I know a person’s heart just by looking at them. I don’t think you would hurt me on purpose.”

This girl, Elain her mother called her, had such an odd outlook for such a young child. The fae sat next to her with the tray and had a few bites of the bread and cheese she brought him. It wasn’t fae food, but it did the job. 

As he ate, Elain stared at his hands. “Are those gemstones?” she asked, pointing to his blue stones. 

The fae shook his head, “Not really, though I suppose you could call them that. They help me focus magic. My people call them Siphons.”

“Your people?” she asked, eyes wide. 

“My people are Illyrians. We are mountain fae from the northern part of this island.” He wasn’t sure why he was telling her this, but something about this child seemed to call to him. Something made him feel familiar and comfortable. 

Elain picked up his hand and studied the gem, not noticing the scarring his brothers had caused. “Blue as the Citrus Sea,” she said in awe. 

“Have you seen the sea?” the Illyrian asked as she examined them. 

Elain shook her head. “Papa say’s he’ll take me to the Citrus Sea someday, but I’m too little right now.” She put down his hand and stuffed another slice of bread in her mouth. The way she did it reminded the Illyrian of his best friend, Rhys, when he decided to forgo manners. 

He thought about Rhys often, and the hellhole he must be living in. It had been several decades since Amarantha had locked up the High Lords of Prythian and Rhys had sealed his friends in Velaris. Thirty-five years had passed, and there was no end in sight. The Illyrian had taken it upon himself to seek out the human woman who would free them, and hopefully nudge the process along. 

“Why do you look so sad?” Elain asked as she picked up his hand again, this time studying the scars. “Did these people hurt you?”

He nodded, “Yes. My brothers did that a long time ago.”

“Did you kill them?”

“No,” said he quietly. 

“I’m glad you didn’t. Papa says killing stains the soul in a way that can never heal.” Elain set his hand aside and climbed into his lap to study his face. 

No child had ever willingly been this close to him before. The Illyrian was shocked and frozen in his seat as she gently tugged on his hair and tapped his pointed ears. “Can I touch your wings?” she asked in a sing-song voice. 

“I…suppose…” he stammered out, flabbergasted that she would just go for his ears but ask about his wings. She stepped out of his lap and walked around to his back. Her small hands were chilly against his sensitive skin, but he savored the way she acted around him. She wasn’t afraid of him, and frankly her hands tickled a bit. 

“When you leave, will you ever come back?” she asked, ducking under his arm to see his face again. 

“I hadn’t thought about it. Would you like me to come back?” The fae asked, very confused by this line of questioning. 

“Well, you can’t come back here, but there’s a place in the woods we can meet. Next year, on this day, I’ll leave a tray of food out. I think you’re interesting, and nobody else is interesting.”

He smiled, glancing outside, “It’s dark now, so I should go. But next year I’ll come back if I can.” He got up from the floor and opened the shed door. 

“Wait! What’s your name?” asked Elain as he left the shed. 

“My name is Azriel.”

And he was gone.


	3. Thirteen Years Ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elain is 9 years old

Elain sat in the small clearing with a basket of bread, cheese, and preserves, waiting for Azriel to appear. He had promised one year to the day, and here it was. She had been waiting here since noon for him to appear, hoping that her directions from the year before were good enough. 

She had spent all year coming up with questions she had for him. Questions about fae, Illyrians, the land above the wall, even more personal questions about his family. She knew his brothers were horrible creatures, but did he have parents? 

A twig snapped in the trees behind her, but Elain refused to turn around. She had told her family she was out picking berries for the day, and if one of them had followed her, she didn’t want to tell them the truth of her outing. 

“Elain?” said a quiet masculine voice. Elain whipped around and stood. She couldn’t see anyone in the shadows, but she knew that voice. 

“Azriel?” she whispered, knowing his fae hearing would detect her words. 

The shadows she had been staring at melted away to reveal her Illyrian friend, dressed in the same leathery armor she remembered. 

A big smile spread across Elain’s face as she ran to him. Azriel stumbled back as she slammed into him and hugged his waist. “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come.”

Azriel hugged the little girl with a soft grin as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I remember you being shorter,” he mused. 

“Well, it’s been a whole year. I’m nine years old now. Of course, I’m taller,” Elain said proudly as she led him to the picnic she had set up. “How did you do that by the way? The shadows moved for you.”

Azriel sat across from her on the blanket. “I am what’s called a shadowsinger. I can control and listen to the shadows.”

“Can a lot of Illyrians do that?” she asked, handing him a piece of bread with cheese. 

Azriel shook his head, “No, it’s not an Illyrian gift. It’s a rare fae talent. I only know of one other shadowsinger in the world, and she’s on the continent.”

“Have you been to the continent?”

“You have a lot of questions,” he said as he sampled the food. 

Elain huffed slightly, “I’ve had a whole year to think about it. I want to know about the faeries. I don’t think you’re all as scary as people think you are.”

Azriel chuckled as he sunned his wings. “I’ve been to the continent a few times when my High Lord sent me.”

Elain gasped in awe, “You’ve met a High Lord? They say the High Lords are terrifying and cruel.”

“My best friend is High Lord of the Night Court. Sometimes he scares the hell out of me, but most of the time he’s not so bad. He’s about as scary as I am.” The smile left Azriel’s face as he spoke of Rhys. 

“What’s wrong?” asked Elain after a moment, sensing his change in mood. 

Azriel sighed. “I haven’t seen him in a very long time. He’s being held captive by an enemy, and I’ve been trying to find a way to free him. But every year that passes brings a little less hope for that.”

“How old are you and what do you consider a long time?” Elain asked innocently. 

“I’m older than anyone else you know, that’s for sure. My people don’t celebrate them, but today is my five hundred and twenty-fourth birthday. And Rhys has been gone for thirty-six years now.”

Elain gaped at the number. “If you’re that old, you must have fought in the war.”

Azriel nodded, “I was very young then, but yes. I fought for the freedom of the humans. The High Lords of Prythian helped the Treaty along and put the wall in place.”

This shocked Elain even more. “You fought for our freedom from the High Fae? Why?”

His face grave, Azriel looked at Elain, “Because slavery is wrong. The things that are done to slaves are wrong. The Night Court hasn’t had human slaves for millennia, and we did just fine. We figure the rest of the world can do the same.”

Elain and Azriel ate in silence for a while before Elain asked another important question. “How long can you stay today?”

Knowing this question would come, Azriel said, “I’ll stay until dark, like last time.”

She nodded and smiled. “Will you tell be about your home? The Night Court?”


	4. Eight Years Ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't want to do every single year, so TIME JUMP
> 
> Elain is 14 years old

Elain sat on the blanket waiting for Azriel as she did every year on this day, although this time she had no food to bring him. The dress she wore was the same one as last year, but it was a bit tight in the shoulders and was more than a little threadbare. She hoped her Illyrian friend wouldn’t notice how thin she was, but Azriel noticed everything. A trait befitting the spymaster he was. 

“Elain?” said the soft masculine voice she longed to hear.

As Elain stood and faced him, the stress of the last year crashed into her and tears fell like rain. Azriel wasted no time with pleasantries and gathered her up in his arms. She had never broken down like this, even after her mother had died several years before, and Azriel wondered what could have befallen this wonderful child. 

“It’s gone!” she cried into his chest. “We lost everything…” Elain explained the how their father had only recently lost the family fortune and plunged them into poverty. How the creditors had crippled her father. How they were living destitute on the outskirts of the next town over. 

Azriel said nothing as she cried, not really knowing what to say in a situation like this. He wasn’t used to being around children except for her, so words and actions eluded him. 

Finally, Elain’s tears subsided. “I’m sorry, I just haven’t really had a moment where I felt safe enough to cry. I’ve had to be strong for my sisters, but you make me feel safe.”

“It’s alright, Elain. You’re allowed to cry,” he said, hoping those were the right words. 

“It’s silly, but I suppose I’m not the first person to cry over money,” she sniffed. 

“But it’s not just about the money, Elain. If you all have nothing to live on, then it’s not just about the house, but about your future. About where your next meal comes from. Suddenly, you’re having to learn survival skills you didn’t think you’d ever need.” Azriel tucked a stray golden-brown lock of hair behind her ear. “It isn’t silly, and don’t apologized for tears. I want you to think of me as a friend you can come to.”

More tears fell as she hugged him again. “I do think of you as a friend, Azriel. It’s just hard when you’re only here one day a year and I can’t tell anyone else about the best friend I’ve ever had. Not even my sisters know where I go, and I make sure to disappear like this several times a year so they aren’t suspicious.”

Azriel hoisted her into his lap to hold her while she cried a little longer. She was such a strong girl, but even strong girls had a breaking point. 

They didn’t talk about faeries or the Night Court or his captive friends. This time, Azriel asked her about her sisters and her father. About her garden and what she wanted with her life. 

Before he left, Azriel reached into an inner pocket of his leathers and pulled out a small pouch of coins. Elain tried to refuse, but Azriel wasn’t taking no for an answer. 

“Elain, that dress looks like it’s about to rip, and you look like you’re going to pass out. I’m a very well-paid spymaster who has more money than I know what to do with, so please. Buy yourself some food and a new dress that fits and keep the rest for food or something. I’ll be back next year.”

Azriel kissed her forehead and flew away.


	5. Five Years Ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elain is 17 years old

Azriel knew it would happen eventually, but he didn’t realize it would happen so soon. When he landed in the clearing, the child that had greeted him each year had gone and, in her place, stood an enchanting young woman. Elain had grown up before his eyes, and Azriel began to wonder if this friendship would last forever. Would she resent him when she was old and grey while he retained his youth?

Thoughts fled his mind as Elain smiled at him. Her facial features were more defined than he had ever seen, but those same big brown eyes stared at him in awe. She was beautiful, and for the first time, Azriel saw her as the adult she had become. 

She hugged him, just like she did every year, and led him to the blanket she had laid out in the clearing. Azriel hugged her back, just like he had always done, but this time he noticed the delicate curves of her body that denoted her adult form. A faint blush rose to his cheeks as he realized she had long past reached what humans would call ‘breeding age’ and she would probably be expected to find a husband soon. 

Why did the thought of her having a husband make him want to put a hole through the nearest tree? She was human. They barely had a future as friends, let alone anything else. 

Elain was talking about something that had happened with one of her sisters, but Azriel didn’t hear her as the possibilities of ‘anything else’ flew through his mind. Would she shy away from his touch like everyone else did? Was the rest of her skin as soft and delicious looking as her hands and face?

Azriel shook himself when Elain wasn’t looking, trying to focus on the conversation he was supposedly having with her. He had known her as a child, so this line of thought was wholly inappropriate. 

But she wasn’t a child anymore, that much was obvious. 

“Azriel? Are you alright?” Elain asked softly. 

Azriel looked at her concerned face, wishing he could just ignore the pain in his heart at the thought of another male anywhere near her. He reached out to her with his scarred hands and touched the strand of hair that always fell in her face. The lock that he had tucked away so many times. 

She watched his hand out of the corner of her eye as he stroked her hair before looking back at his face with a blush. Her lips parted slightly and her breathing changed at his touch. Even in the sunlight, her pupils dilated when she her gaze trailed over each plain of his face. 

Dare he wonder if she felt the same way about him? Before he could stop himself, he tucked that strand away, traced her jaw with his finger, and captured her lips in a soft kiss. 

At first, Elain was stunned. Azriel had been the object of her affections for several years now, her dreams sometimes revolving around him touching her in places she could never voice aloud. But each time he appeared, she reminded herself that he was fae and a relationship between the two of them was impossible. No, she would have to be content with him being her friend. 

But now, as he kissed her, those hopes for returned affection reared up in her mind and she reached for his hair to deepen their kiss. 

Something snapped inside Azriel when she touched his hair. Something possessive and male and—

“No…” he whispered at he broke the kiss. “That’s impossible…” She was his mate. How? Elain was human. Was that even possible? For him to have a human mate?

Elain didn’t even get to ask what he meant before he melted into the shadows and vanished, leaving her alone in the clearing, the ghost of his kiss still on her lips.


	6. Four Years Ago: This is the Sex Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elain is 18 years old

For the first time in years, Elain was uncertain if Azriel would show. Last year he had kissed her before running away and not explaining what was so impossible. 

And, if she was being honest, she missed him. The feelings she had discovered for him had only grown in his absence, and she was ready to surrender herself to the other side of the wall if it meant they could be together. Years ago, she had asked him what happened to the humans that crossed the wall. Since his Court was so far away, he didn’t know. But what he did know was that the city he lived in would welcome her if she chose to go there. 

“Elain?” asked the voice that was music to her ears. 

She stood, just as she always did, but this time she didn’t run into his arms. She was suddenly unsure of herself. Unsure of him. 

“Azriel, I—” she started, but the words caught in her throat. 

The pain in her eyes hit Azriel like a physical blow as she searched for words. “I’m sorry, Elain. I shouldn’t have kissed you and ruined our friendship. I’ll leave you alone from now on.”

“No!” she yelled as she grabbed his hand. Fear shone in his eyes as she pulled him towards her. “I don’t want you to apologize, Azriel. And I certainly don’t want you to leave me alone.”

His voice was barely audible when he asked, “Then what do you want?”

“I want you to kiss me again,” she said as she stroked his cheek. “And then I want you to tell me what’s so impossible.”

Shocked beyond belief, Azriel complied and kissed her before he thought better of it, pulling her body flush with his. This is what he had craved for the last year, what couldn’t be substituted with anyone else. He’d had plenty of lovers in his five hundred years, but after he had kissed her last year, the thought of any other female was abhorrent. It was her he saw when he closed his eyes, her who haunted his dreams with her smiles. And when he was alone, it was her face he imagined when he took himself in hand. 

He almost hadn’t come today, but the thought of never seeing her again made his heart ache and his body riot. Now, he was glad he had come, because now he knew what it felt like to have her arms looped around his neck as she surrendered her body to his embrace. She was so light he could hold her entire body weight with one arm, and he buried the other hand in her hair as he carried her to the blanket she always laid out. 

Elain’s hands roamed over his leather armor as they kissed, and secretly she wished she could touch his tawny skin as easily as he touched her heart. After laying her down gently, he stretched out beside her on the blanket, and she could feel the lump at the front his leather pants that betrayed him. He wanted her. And she wanted to give herself to him. 

How did one ask a man for that? Did she just keep kissing him and hope for the best? Did she just lean back and open her legs? That didn’t seem very romantic. 

The hand in his hair held on to him, and Azriel growled into her mouth at the feeling, his own hand tugging on her unbound tresses. The gasp that he elicited made his blood boil in his veins. This woman was his mate. This was what the Cauldron had planned for him, and every instinct he had was screaming that he had to have her. The way she pressed her body to his and ground her hips into his erection made him lose all sense of logic. 

Her hands left his hair and traced their way down his shoulders and chest as he kissed the crook of her neck. A slight moan escaped her lips before her words reached his ears, “Please, Azriel, I want…you…”

Those sweet, sweet words were the ones he had been dying to hear. She was young, so this would probably be her first time, but Azriel was determined to please her. The bond within him roared to life as he knew he would do anything for her. 

Azriel cupped her breast through her dress and reveled in the sound of her breath hitching at his touch. Resisting the urge to rip her clothes from neck to hem, he pulled at the ties that held the dress together in the front before sliding her sleeves off her creamy shoulders. He twisted them both, lifting her so she straddled his hips, before he sat up to taste one rosy peak, and toyed with the other with his hand. Her soft moans and words of encouragement were tantalizing and true. 

At her behest, he hiked up one side of her skirt and touched her naked hip, grasping her backside and grinding her harder into him. Hand circling her leg, he touched her core. 

Elain gasped at his fingers in the most secret part of her body. The heat and wetness that had pooled there over the last several minutes seemed to please him as he explored her folds, dipping one single finger inside of her. She keened and moaned his name at his ministrations, begging him for more. 

Unable to withstand her pleas any longer, Azriel freed himself from his leathers and lifted her onto his tip, making sure to lower her slowly. She groaned as her body adjusted to the invader, but her hands on his shoulders gripped him hard as she felt his length. 

One last push, and he would be fully seated inside her. Azriel’s free hand went to that nub he knew would please her and lessen the pain of this first encounter. She cried out as she took the rest of him and panted against his shoulder. 

Azriel waited for her cue to continue, drawing lazy circles on that bud between her legs. After a few moments, she shifted her hips forward on him and gave a half-cry of pleasure. Azriel laid back and lifted his hips, driving himself home. She begged him for more of whatever this was. 

Her cheeks flushed with heat, Elain’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as she experienced this bursting pleasure for the first time. It was like there was a spring deep inside her body that coiled tighter and tighter with each thrust of Azriel’s hips, with each circle he made around that nub she hadn’t even realized was there. 

Azriel flipped them over so his wings were free and drove into her, lifting her leg around his hips. “Touch…my wings…,” he managed to pant into her ear as her hands roamed his back. Her delicate fingers brushed the outer curve and Azriel barked a curse at unmitigated ecstasy of her touch. 

And just as Elain thought the spring couldn’t get any tighter, her body shattered in a blaze of white heat. Elain screamed his name as she came on him, and Azriel felt himself fall over the edge with her, wings flaring with pleasure. 

Azriel mumbled sweet nothings into Elain’s hair as she fell forward onto his chest with exhaustion. “That was amazing,” she said into his chest. 

He hummed his acknowledgement just as reality slammed back into him and a tear fell to the grass from his eye. 

She was human. Amarantha would slay her on the spot. Everyone knew about the timetable they had for breaking the curse she had put on their people, and even though Azriel wasn’t a part of that, he knew that if the curse wasn’t broken, Amarantha’s poison would spread to Velaris soon enough. Even the humans below the wall wouldn’t be safe. That was what he had been doing out here all those years ago, looking at the single women and seeing if any of them were strong enough to slay a fae. Elain had never been that woman, and for that Azriel was grateful. He couldn’t bare to watch her fall in love with someone else. 

Taking her face in his hands, Azriel kissed her soundly before saying the words he knew he would regret. “Elain, I won’t be able to come back next year. There’s no future for us to be together.”

“Not even in the city you love so much?” she asked quietly. 

He shook his head and gave a brief explanation of Amarantha and her grip on Prythian. 

“This curse,” she began thoughtfully, “if it’s broken, would your city be safe again?”

“I hope so. But no matter how much I love you, you are still human and will grow old and die while I will stay this way for a thousand years.” He cupped her cheek gently. 

A tear fell from Elain’s eye. “I don’t care. Promise me you’ll come back when it’s safe. Promise me you’ll come back for me.”

“Only if you promise to live your life as if I don’t exist. Live your life the way you would’ve if you hadn’t ever met me. I’ll come back and give you the choice when it’s safe.”

Elain nodded. “I promise. But you better be ready for me to come with you, because I love you too, and I’m not giving up on you.”


	7. Six Months Ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short chapter before we get back to present day. 
> 
> Elain isn't even in this one but she would be 21

Azriel flew high over the trees as he searched for Elain. Amarantha had been defeated, and Velaris was now safe enough for Elain to live in if she chose. Azriel kept his promise to return, hoping she would still want to be with him and that she hadn’t forgotten. 

The cottage at the edge of the woods. There it was, the small home Elain had described on one of his many visits. There was no smoke coming from the chimney, despite it being cold enough for snow to fall. 

When he landed, he noticed the windows were dark and the door was hanging open on it’s hinge. The place was abandoned. If the lack of scents were any indication, they hadn’t been here for quite some time. 

Azriel fell to his knees on the threshold, sending his shadows out to search the town for her. 

Nothing. Not even a whisper of her name. Her beautiful brown eyes danced in his memory as he begged the Mother for her to find him somehow. 

Maybe she still went to the spot in the woods on his birthday? That was months away, but he was a patient male, he was immortal after all. 

He was determined to find her.


	8. Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks have ended. Back to the scene in the prologue. Elain is 22

Elain gasped as Azriel captured her lips, the same way he had in the forest years ago. She dropped his hand and flung her arms around his neck, forgetting their audience. 

She cried as he held her and explained, “I went to your cottage months ago looking for you, but you were gone. I even waited in the clearing on our day but you never came. I thought I had lost you.”

She held his face and pressed her forehead to his. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think a spymaster would have trouble finding me.”

“How does she—”

“Shhh!” One of the other Illyrians had started to ask about what she knew, but Feyre hushed him, determined to figure that out herself and not ruin this beautiful moment. 

Just as Nesta was about to boil over with rage, a loud banging sounded on the door behind them, making them all jump. 

Elain whispered, “Oh no! Graysen said he would come by this evening.”

“Everybody up the stairs. Elain, get rid of him,” said Nesta with a hiss. The four fae and Nesta quietly dashed up the stairs and around the corner as Elain opened the door. 

Rhys used his mind to brush against Azriel’s mental shield, asking for an explanation. Azriel showed him everything. Everything from his crash landing to their meetings in the woods to the mating bond to that last time when they had made love in the grass and Azriel promised he would return for her.

The pain in Rhys’s eyes was tangible. Azriel only nodded before listening to what was happening. 

Feyre whispered to Nesta, “Who is Graysen?”

Nesta murmured back, “Her fiancé.”

The words struck Azriel like a lightning bolt. He had told her to move on with her life as if he didn’t exist, but it was still hard to accept that his mate was engaged to another. 

“Graysen!” came Elain’s cheery voice from downstairs. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“My dear Elain,” said a masculine voice from the door, “when I saw you earlier in the square, I was totally unprepared and had left your gift at home.”

“What gift?” she said coyly. There was nothing but a rustle of fabric before Elain gasped. “Oh, Graysen, it’s beautiful!”

“I thought you might like it. When I saw it in the window, I knew it was meant for you.” Graysen kissed her soundly, and Elain hoped he couldn’t tell that she had just kissed Azriel. 

“Well, I don’t mean to keep you. Soon enough I’ll have you all to myself, won’t I?” Graysen said flirtatiously. Elain giggled at the comment. 

Rhys put a hand on Azriel’s shoulder while Cassian moved to hold his arm. Azriel wasn’t the type to slaughter people needlessly, but he certainly was struggling with not bashing the man’s face in. 

Elain and Graysen said their good-byes and Elain closed the door. She waited a good minute for Graysen to get away from the house before she called up the stairs. “He’s gone, you can come out now.”

The group came down the stairs one by one, wings tucked in and faces stern. Azriel was the first to notice the large ruby necklace that now sat at her throat, thinking he would’ve given her a sapphire. It would’ve brought out her brown eyes better. 

Silently, Nesta led them to the dining table, which was already set for supper. Azriel took the seat next to Elain, hoping to be close to her just one more time. He watched her eat, and for the first time he noticed the iron band on her left hand. How romantic. Elain said nothing, just stared at his Siphons through the meal. 

After they had all retired, Azriel sat on the bed in the room he shared with Cassian, his head in his hands. 

“If you’re that broken up about it, go talk to her,” said Cassian pointedly. 

Azriel got up and took his advice. He followed Elain’s scent down the hall and knocked on the door that bore her scent the strongest. 

The door opened immediately. “I was hoping you would come,” she said quietly, allowing him entrance. 

Azriel started the words he had rehearsed in his head. “Elain I—"

“It still isn’t truly safe, is it?” she asked pointedly, closing the door. As soon as it latched, she was in his arms, laying her head on his chest. 

Azriel stroked her hair as he spoke. “Amarantha is gone, but Hybern now threatens war with us if we don’t bring down the wall and allow humans to be used as slaves.”

Elain held him tighter. “There will always be another threat, Azriel.”

“I know, but I’m hoping that if we can avoid war with Hybern, I can take you to Velaris.” He huffed a laugh. “I didn’t realize your sister Feyre and Feyre Cursebreaker were one in the same. I should’ve just asked her where you went.”

Elain giggled at that. “The High Fae that she was in love with set us up here and invested in our father’s merchant business.”

They were quiet for a while, just holding each other when Azriel asked, “Do you love him?” 

Elain had removed the necklace and her engagement ring and set them on her dressing table, but Azriel could still smell the other man’s scent. “Not like I love you. I like him, I suppose. He’s sweet and caring. But for years now I’ve wished to be your wife, not his.”

Azriel tilted her chin up to meet her gaze. “Tonight, we can pretend the outside world doesn’t exist, but I’ll have to leave in the morning. You may see me a few times, but I don’t want to make this harder on you.”

“You’re not! Seeing you is the best thing that’s happened to me in years. Now that I know what’s happening, I’m even more determined to keep you. Please, don’t keep me in the dark anymore.” Her eyes begged him for this favor. 

“I won’t. I suppose I just don’t understand how this doesn’t bother you.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, confused. 

“The fact that you will grow old and die while I remain unchanged.”

Elain thought for a moment before she responded. “Does it bother you?”

“Only to the extent that I know I’ll have to let you go too soon. That will break me,” he said as he kissed her, breathing in her scent. The taste of her surged through him, reminded him that she was his destined mate. 

“I’d rather have this one lifetime with you, Azriel,” she said when they came up for air. 

“What about your sister? If you come to Velaris, Nesta will be alone.”

Elain smiled grimly. “I have this feeling in my stomach that we are all going to end up in Velaris. I don’t know how or why, but I just…know.”

Azriel kissed her again. “I believe you. You have a strong intuition. But for now, I should let you get some sleep.”

“Only if you sleep with me.” Elain said, holding onto him. 

“What would your fiancé say, Elain?” Azriel sighed. 

Elain gave him a hard look. “I don’t care."


	9. A Few Months Later

When Azriel had wished for a solution to Elain’s short life, this is NOT what he’d had in mind. At all. He had wanted something like his friend Drakon had found for his love. Something Elain would choose to do. 

Azriel stood powerless, poison coursing through his body, just a few feet from Elain as she was dumped unceremoniously into the Cauldron that would turn her into a High Fae. He fell to his knees and pounded the ground as he felt the mating bond within him stretch and twist. It pulled on his soul and begged him to help her, but he could do nothing while the King of Hybern had them trapped. 

Even Feyre stood frozen, afraid of what would happen to her sisters if she moved. When the Cauldron tipped over, Elain tumbled out, her new pointed ears peaking out from her hair. 

Lucien was there, wrapping a coat around Elain while screaming something at the King. Nesta was being thrust into the Cauldron behind her, but all Azriel saw was Elain as the male at her side said those words that Azriel knew to be a lie, “You’re my mate.”

She was no such thing to him. Azriel reached for the bond between them. It was there, glowing brighter than ever now that she was Fae. Nesta came out of the Cauldron and shoved Lucien away from her sister, stating what Azriel knew to be fact. Elain was not Lucien’s mate, but what Lucien thought was a mating bond Azriel didn’t know. 

Feyre. Feyre was screaming. Rhys was screaming. There was blinding light and suffocating darkness and then…

The townhouse. Feyre had sacrificed herself back to the Spring Court to get her sisters back to Velaris. Azriel was only grateful Mor had taken Elain somewhere safe before he lost consciousness. 

***

Elain was cold. The water had soaked her to the bone and she shivered in Nesta’s arms as they held tight to the female who carried them. Mor, if Elain recalled correctly. Another of Feyre's friends. 

Gentle hands of some unknown servant bathed her and wrapped her in a warm nightgown, but Elain said nothing. Her body seemed to not be able to move of her will and her mind was blank. The events of the last few hours played behind her eyes over and over again as the tears fell. But there was not pain. No sobs. Not even a whimper. Just tears and a numbness Elain couldn’t describe. 

For the first time in her life, Elain felt nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally had ACOMAF open for reference for this one. Which was it's own emotional journey.


	10. Chapter 10

Elain sat in front of an open window, letting the sea breeze kiss her skin. Over the last few weeks, she had felt only this gentle wind on her face. And even though she felt it, it didn’t bring her any joy. Nor did it bring her pain, it simply was. 

She had seen Nesta every day for weeks now, but no one else had come to see her. She knew from Nesta that Feyre was off somewhere spying on someone, but the exact details weren’t clear to her, and since Nesta didn’t care about anyone else, she hadn’t spoken of them. Elain hadn’t said more than a word since she had been dumped from the Cauldron or asked about anything. 

She hadn’t wanted to. Nothing mattered. Time was irrelevant. The blank space that used to be her mind blurred in and out of focus as she stared at the Citrus Sea. 

***

Azriel stood outside the door to Elain’s room at the House of Wind, debating if he should enter. He’s had no word on her since she arrived, and the servants said she never asked about him. Never asked about anyone. Never spoke a word. 

Azriel raise his hand to knock on the door when a soft voice met him through the door, “I can hear your heartbeat.”

“I was wondering if you would like company,” Azriel said casually, fighting the knot in his throat. 

“Come in,” said the voice. As he opened the door, the sight before him broke his heart. There, in a chair by the window was Elain. Wrapped in a blue dressing gown, her hair was unbound and her body still. 

“I… came to see if you were alright. If you needed me for anything.” Azriel felt ridiculous saying the words. 

“Should I need you for something?” Elain asked in a monotone he had never heard from her. Azriel’s chest tightened at the question. He had hoped the Cauldron hadn’t altered her mind, but now he was just hoping she remembered him. 

“Elain, it’s Azriel. I crashed into your garden when you were a child, remember?” Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he watched his dearest love turn in her seat. 

Her face was stoic and calm as she asked, “Should I remember?”

Azriel couldn’t take it. Watching her go through trauma was one thing, but if she couldn’t remember him, even now that their relationship wasn’t so impossible, he couldn’t stand by and watch as she wasted away. 

Azriel shook his head and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of these chapters are really short, but this is how it works in my brain. The good thing is that I tend to binge-write so there may be like a bunch of new chapters tonight for all I know.


	11. The Solstice (and more sex)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during ACOFAS. It's that Solstice.

Elain sat in the living room of the townhouse, drink in hand, waiting for the rest of the Night Court to arrive so they could have dinner. Lucien had come and gone earlier, still spewing something about mates. Sounded like nonsense to her, honestly. Not the fact that fae had pre-destined mates, but the part where hers was Lucien. She was sure he was nice enough, but she wasn’t attracted to him. 

Not like she was to Azriel. Azriel was kind to her and never made her think too hard or feel out of place. Azriel had been the first to realize what was happening when she started having visions, and Azriel had been the one to rescue her with Feyre. 

But there was something off about how the shadowsinger acted around her. Like he knew something she didn’t and he was afraid of telling her. Maybe he just had a confession of love he was keeping to himself. 

Sometimes Elain dreamed of her and Azriel making love in a clearing in the woods, but that was just a dream…wasn’t it? It certainly seemed real enough. But then, so had her visions of the future. 

As soon as Mor arrived to break out the wine, the festivities began. 

***

Azriel gazed at Elain in the low lights of the candles as Feyre and Cassian went after Nesta. The party had been lovely, and now they had been left alone in the sitting room and Azriel hoped he could talk to her about her memory. They’d had so little time alone since the war that Azriel had almost lost all hope of her being his. 

Elain had seemed to have forgotten everything about him. She had even looked Nuala in the eyes and told her she’d never been with a man. While it was a great comfort to Azriel to know she hadn’t been with anyone else, it hurt that she didn’t even remember his favorite memory of her: spread out on the grass with him buried inside of her while she reached for his wings. 

Azriel moved from his seat on the fireplace to the space next to hers. “Elain, thank you for the gift you gave me, it was really thoughtful of you. But I feel bad, I didn’t get you anything.”

Elain smiled, “But that’s not gift giving at Solstice is about, or so I’m told. It’s not give and take, but just give.”

“All the same, what would you like for Solstice? I know it’ll be late but I can get you whatever you want.” He was serious, too. If he could harness the moon for her, he would. 

“Whatever I want…” Elain repeated thoughtfully, looking away for a moment. “Will you take me to the sea? I can see the Citrus Sea from many places in town, but I’d very much like to see it up close. To stand on the beach, no matter how cold it is, and feel the breeze and smell the salt.”

Azriel was frozen in his seat at he remembered her words from long ago. “Elain, I would love to take you. Tomorrow, if you want.”

Elain flung her arms around Azriel’s neck, “Thank you, Azriel!”

Azriel embraced Elain the same way he had every year of her childhood. The tears that had threatened him for months escaped his control and now fell on her shoulder as his body shook in silent sobs. He loved her, and it wasn’t her fault, but her lack of memories of him felt like a knife to his chest. 

Elain was stunned. Had she done something wrong? Why was he crying? She knew that Azriel the hardened warrior probably had a sensitive side and maybe a romantic streak, but she had never dreamed he’d show that side to her. “Azriel…?” she asked quietly, stroking his soft hair. 

He pulled away suddenly and got up saying, “I’m sorry, Elain, I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

Elain jumped up and grabbed his hand, determined to not let him go. “You’re not bothering me Azriel. You’re my friend and I’m worried I’ve hurt you somehow.” She looked down in shame and anxiety. Down to where their hands touched, to where his Siphons glowed under her fingers. Elain stared at the Siphon, and dreams she’d had flashed through her mind, followed by scenes she hadn’t dreamt about. The forest clearing near their cottage, Azriel playing with her on a blanket when she was a child, Azriel holding her when she cried. Lost in her own mind, Elain murmured, “Blue as the Citrus Sea I’ve never seen.”

Azriel’s breath hitched as she spoke the words that haunted his memories and his tears fell harder. Elain tore her gaze away from their hands to stare into his eyes. Unable to stand it anymore, Azriel pulled her towards him, tucked that sneaky stray lock of hair behind her ear, whispered, “I’ve been looking all over for you, Elain,” and kissed her. 

Elain moaned into his lips the same way she had in her dreams. Dreams? She hadn’t dreamt of him crashlanding in her garden as a child. She hadn’t dreamt of him coming with Feyre and the others to their manor and sleeping in her bed with her. What was happening to her?

Gasping for air and breaking away, Elain exclaimed, “Those aren’t dreams! They’re memories! You were there in the clearing every year of my childhood. You held me when I cried and you kissed me when I was seventeen and when you came back the next year, we made love in the grass. That. Was. _Real_.”

Azriel coughed a laugh at her revelation. “Yes, Elain. That was real. And every day you didn’t remember, I died a little more inside.”

“You came to see me,” she went on, panting as if she had run a marathon, “after I became High Fae. You came and asked if I needed you for anything and I didn’t remember you.”

Azriel nodded, “The last time I saw you before Hybern, you asked me if there was a way for us to not have to live without each other because you’re human.”

Elain’s eyes lit up with recognition, “You told me you refused to live a day longer than I do, and the day after you lay me to rest you would ask Rhys to put you out of your misery.”

“But now, I won’t have to. While I despise the circumstances in which you gained eternal youth, I can’t deny the fact that it would make things easier. If you still want me, that is.” Azriel looked away unable to see her face if she decided to reject him. 

“Want you? Azriel, I may not have remembered our love affair, but I managed to fall in love with you all over again. Of course, I want you, silly male!”

In that moment, Azriel swore he could fly without leaving the ground. She was his salvation and his grounding force but also the wind beneath his wings. 

“On one condition,” Elain said with a sly smile. “You never told me what was so impossible that day you kissed me and ran away.”

Sighing, Azriel braced himself for the truth. “When I kissed you, I felt a mating bond snap into place. I didn’t think that was possible, so I ran. Now, after seeing Feyre and Rhys, I think whatever powers are in this world knew that you would become fae and you would be destined for this place.”

“But Lucien said—”

“I don’t know what he felt, and I don’t care. I knew you were my mate while you were still human, and I was determined to find a way to be with you.”

“Then I only have one more question,” said Elain quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me about us when I forgot? Why wait months and months in silence?”

Azriel’s tears flowed all over again. “Because I saw what happened when Lucien said you were mates and how you reacted, and I was afraid if I told you we had been in love you wouldn’t believe me and run away from me too. And you were mourning Graysen like you loved him and I didn’t want to hurt you further. I hoped your memory would recover on its own. I even asked Feyre not to say anything to you. But even when it didn’t, you still looked at me like you had before, with love and affection. Like I was worthy of your presence and you were constantly on the edge of remembering.”

“Would you have told me if I hadn’t remembered on my own?” 

“Yes. I was going to find a way to get you alone tonight, but then when you said you wanted me to take you to the sea, I thought that would be perfect. Something in me was at peace telling you at the Citrus Sea.” Azriel placed her hand atop one of his Siphons. “Just like when you were a child, and then again at the manor, you saw me. I love you, Elain.”

Elain reached down onto the coffee table beside them to grab one of the cookies from the plate. Feyre had explained to her in the beginning not to ever offer food to Lucien unless she wanted to be stuck with him, but now she willingly accepted her mate. Her Illyrian friend. Her Azriel. 

Azriel’s eyes fixated on the cookie, knowing what she was about to do. He opened his mouth and allowed her to place the sweet between his teeth. He took a bite, and Elain giggled as crumbs fell into her face. Something deep within her soul surged as he chewed. She reached for that tendril of power and grasped it with her mind. 

The male in front of her groaned as he swallowed the bite and kissed her soundly, wrapping both arms around her. Elain dropped the cookie on the table and cupped his face in her hands. The taste of him was intoxicating. 

“Azriel…” she whispered between kisses, “I need…you…please…”

Not about to waste time, Azriel swept her up in his arms and marched Elain up the stairs to her bedroom. Kicking the door open, he carried her to the bed and laid her down before closing the door. 

Suddenly aware of how alone they were, Elain blushed in nervousness. Azriel sensed her unease. “You realize we’ve done this before, right?”

“My brain knows that but I wasn’t fae then. And there wasn’t a bed. The memories almost make it seem like a fantasy.”

Azriel smirked, tucking in his wings. In one fluid motion, he sat on the edge of the bed and placed Elain on his hips like he had all those years ago. “Does this seem more familiar?”

Elain sighed as she ground her hips into him. “Yes. You know, I’ve been having that dream of us making love in the clearing for weeks now. I thought I was just fixated on riding you, but really I was remembering doing it.” Elain reached for his wing and dragged a finger along the edge. 

Azriel sighed as his eyes rolled back into his head. “Yes…” was all he could manage to get out. 

Elain snickered. “So, you did ask me to do that. I thought my mind had made that up.” 

He shook his head and captured her lips as she toyed with the inner edge of his wing, grinding her hips into his now obvious erection. Azriel hiked up one side of her skirt like he had before, but this time he was determined to please her all night long. He didn’t have to race away at dusk anymore, so this time he was going to savor her. 

Azriel traced lazy circles on her warm hip as she tugged on his hair, his touch raising goosebumps on her skin. She was so soft, so tender. He palmed her backside and lifted his hips, rubbing himself against that sensitive spot at her core. Elain gasped in pleasure, feeling his strong body through her clothes and begging him for more. 

Elain pulled her hands back from his hair and his wing to reach under his arms to the buttons she knew were securing his jacket under his wings. Deftly undoing them, she pulled the garment off and set to work on the next set of buttons, determined to feel his skin under her fingertips. 

Layers of his clothing hit the floor as Azriel worked his fingers up under her dress. He slipped a finger into her folds to find that bundle of nerves he knew would make her moan, and he was right. Prayers laced with his name tumbled from her lips as he found a rhythm she liked and sucked on the crook of her neck. And just when she was about to burst from the sensation, he slid a single finger inside of her, causing her to shudder and convulse in his arms. Her nails dragged down his now naked back and teased the spot where his wings were attached, causing him to groan and tense. 

The need to taste her flooded him. Azriel lifted her effortlessly and laid her back on the bed, ripping her dress from hem to neck like he had dreamed of doing last time. She gave him a mildly disapproving look, “I liked that one, you know.”

Azriel’s gaze slowly drifted up her body, lingering on her breasts before meeting her eyes and whispering, “I will buy you as many replacements as you require, but for now, I need you to scream my name again.” He kissed and suckled his way down her body, his hands taunting her rosy nipples, before licking up her folds and burying his face between her legs. He took her clit gently between his teeth to secure it and used his tongue to stimulate the nerves. 

Elain cried out his name, just like he had requested, and gripped the pillow behind her. No one had ever touched her like this, and no one else ever would. He was her heart and soul and only he held the keys to her body. His fingers pumped inside her as he licked, heightening her arousal and touching that one spot inside of her that made her squirm with delight. 

With one hand on Elain’s body, Azriel used his other to free himself of the rest of his clothes. He held himself in his hand as Elain pitched over the edge again and moaned incomprehensibly, knowing as he tasted her orgasm that he needed her. He needed her body to shelter him and care for him. He needed to feel her warmth and only she could bring him pleasure. 

Azriel climbed up the bed to kiss Elain, her skin hot and her body putty in his hands. She looped her arms around his neck to hold him close as she whispered, “I love you, Azriel. I need you, please.”

He tossed one of her legs over his shoulder as he lined himself up with her body. In a moment of inspiration, Azriel looked at the room around them, wondering if she would be more comfortable somewhere else. Before he could think better of it, he winnowed them to a place he had dreamed of taking her. 

A gentle breeze slid over Elain’s skin before Azriel dropped shields in place to warm them. She opened her eyes to find herself on a beach, the Citrus Sea to her left and the blanket from her bed spread out under them. The sound of crashing waves and the smell of salt washed over her. Above them, the stars in the sky seemed to watch as he slid into her. 

She didn’t have much experience with sex, but this had to be the most erotic thing that had ever happened to anyone. When he was inside her, Elain felt like the missing piece had been found she wanted him to stay there forever. She moaned and begged for more as Azriel plunged into her again and again, pounding a rhythm that made her heart race with it. 

Azriel felt his climax build as the bond in his soul wrapped around her and held tight. Even her own voice crescendoed to a pleasurable cry as he made love to her and she found her pinnacle. And when he had reached his fever pitch, she ran a finger over his wings and he came, shadows scattering away from them. 

He felt his body go slack as he pulled her leg off his shoulder, trying not to crush her as he collapsed beside her, tucking her body into his for warmth. She curled her back into him like a little spoon as she stared at the water. The sea at night wasn’t blue, but black as the wings on Azriel’s back. “Can we still see it tomorrow? During the day when it’s blue?”

Azriel kissed her hair and then her neck again before answering, “I will show you the sea whenever you feel like.”

Elain rolled in his arms to face him, tracing his chest with her fingers. “You know, I’ve still never had sex in a bed.”

Azriel laughed low in his throat, “While I suppose it will happen sometime, I have to say I like this affinity we have for outdoors.” He tucked his wings in and rolled onto his back, setting her on his stomach. Elain reached behind her and grasped the rehardened length of him before lifting up to her knees and impaling herself on him, riding him like she remembered doing in the forest. 

They moaned in unison as he was sheathed to the hilt inside her again, but this time he let her take control. He let her move over him and on him until he was once again coiled for release. Azriel reached out and pressed the nub at the center of her body as she shattered again at his touch, his own release hard on the heels of hers. 

This time he winnowed them back to Elain’s room at the townhouse. Azriel grabbed a blanket for them as he snuggled up with his mate, stroking her skin and tucking that piece of hair away. “I love you,” he whispered, “and I’m never letting you go again.”

Elain cupped his face with her hands, “I love you, Azriel. Never let me go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming on this lovely journey with me. I had thought about dragging it out and bringing more Lucien in but *shrug* this is how it played out.


End file.
